Sooo. I’m a Waster.

At the farmers market, realizing I could have probably brought my own thermos for the coffee I purchased, maybe a reusable container for the tamales or the danishes. I accumulated a lot of waste within an hour (not that bringing your own dishware is expected, but something for me to be aware of for next time).

So yeah. Here it is. I’m a waster. I am wasteful in pretty much everything I do. I waste time, energy, resources, plastic, water, recycling, gas, money. This might be surprising, as I paradoxically have a passion for sustainability, but in actuality I am really kind of crappy at being sustainable. It may be that I’ve tried for some time to ignore this fact, preaching sustainable practices, trying to get everyone on board, all the while thoroughly failing to consistently practice any of these things on my own. I’m a fraud.

But you know, I’ve had good intentions. I really wanted to practice what I was trying to teach others. I’ve bought reusable bags for the grocery store, like 20 times. I have maybe brought ONE of those back to the grocery store. ONCE. I’ve tried growing things from seed and just as they were starting to look good I’d neglect them and they’d die. I try to regularly go to community events to learn things, but then I make up excuses and don’t always go. I buy reusable water bottles, but forget them at home. Every. Dang. Time. So then I buy plastic bottles at the store.

I’m a mess when it comes to implementing sustainable practices into my life. At my core, it’s all I want to do, but my long term conditioning keeps me lazy, forgetful, negligent and confused. I dabble with different ways to bring sustainable practices into my life, thinking this or that is the new way for me, yet never really getting anywhere in terms of competency. I’m really good at dabbling, y’all.

In owning all of this, I’m just going to make it public, and also design this website around this kind of self-knowledge, moving forth with this as my strength, rather than continuing to allow it to be a hindering weakness. As an educator, I’m not going to teach from a place of knowing, but as a place of wanting to know. Resources I provide, interviews I do, events I go to and projects I’m working on are all me trying to grasp how I can bring sustainability into my life, understand the environment and figure out how to better my community. It is my hopes this will keep me honest and hold me somewhat accountable. In turn, I also intend to provide some solid inspiration and ideas for you, even if, like me, you’re not always super on it (we can struggle through this process together).

What has your sustainability journey looked like? What has helped you? Where are you really struggling and what do you want to improve on? What types of resources might help your journey? Please let me know, and I appreciate all my loves supporting me on this personal path towards my own learning (and extensive unlearning!).